Grand-nanny...

18th Oct 2008.. it's my grand-nanny 90's birthday.. everyone gathered to celebrate wif her.. was thinking tat how great it is.. 90 years surviving in tis world.. muz not tat easy.. how much happiness had gained?? how much experiences had being surfer?? congratulation!! wish u happy birthday n stay happy everyday... ^^

2008-10-13..

A further step into man's world.. how to consider a man is good?? no smoke?? no drink?? perhaps it is.. last few weeks i get to c how man usually 'REDUCE' their stress.. my fren and i went to a pub which is mostly visited by man.. although not de 1st time visit to such place.. i will nvr 4get watever i experienced there.. sometime i feel pity to woman especially those in 'special case'.. i can understand tat a woman tat choose to be a PR mayb they really need money for their living or having other reason in personal.. n v can understand tat a PR hv to entertain customers.. no doubts being hugged or kissed by stranger (customer), smile will still need to be hanged on their face.. but i juz cant stand tat guy is taking advantages on woman juz becoz they have money.. on tat day, i saw a gal molested by a man wif average 35 years old.. i can c in her face tat she is mind and quite mad about it.. but she cant do anything beside staying far from de customer.. how pity a woman it is??

Apart from tat, i become unclear about man on one thing.. there's how many guy tat will be honest to their closest one (gf/wife)?? will they told them tat they are having fun time wif other gals?? or they will juz gv any excuses such as entertaining clientS?? no idea.. one conclusion hv made.. guy will nvr stop to drink and flirt.. i can c young man wif de age of 20, 30, 40, even 50 in de pub.. not only tis.. de most disappointed me is.. 'office man' which i admired so much oso having their own sweet time there.. they totally spoil their image n status in my mind!!!

Hey gals.. come on.. wake up!! there's less pure love in tis world oledi.. if u really found it, grab it.. if not, then do not put too much hope on these COLD-blood animals.. it' not worth.. woman should learned to be independent.. life will still need to go.. becoz of tis, i hv put all hopes within myself.. i will nvr need anyone to stay right beside me for these several years.. unless my fate arrived.. i noe my life will be difficult if i stay stuborn on tis.. hmm.. nthg much to hope right now.. juz wan de time to pass faster so tat i can get to c my future earlier.. thus, i will not be as blur as now..

our baby...

It’s pretty funny and amazing to watch a baby growing.. hehe.. about a size of 15 inches.. it’s feel like unstructured.. need to support every each of her parts while hugging her.. afraid will hurt her bones or body.. so, never ever try to touch a baby whenever u have no any experience.. ^^ although being a mom is tough, u will feel happy when u see ur baby is growing.. everytime u hold her in hand, u feel sweet.. and I had never felt tis way b4..

A secret to be told.. baby is de ideally one v can talk wif.. v can trust baby in 100%.. can talk everything u wanna speak out.. n it doesn’t matter if u cry in front of baby as well.. u noe y?? coz baby will never tell anybody about tat.. haha.. baby will keep silent all de times.. especially when baby give me a smile, everything in my heart got an answer.. life become meaningful n full of colors.. so cute..

Baby is a creation from de power of love.. I do not understand why some human being is so cruel.. why they can abuse a small child like tis?? Don’t they feel tat baby is a treasure gift from god?? Y can’t they appreciate it?? if they hate baby so much, then don't ever MAKE LOVE.. But for me is different story.. I love my baby.. baby is juz like “gold” for me.. hehe.. I’ll do everything for my baby.. yeah.. thx god..

everything's gonnA ovEr..

2nite.. a great news to me.. haha.. finally I get to noe n see something very clearly.. mayb u dunno u are hurting me.. but I can tell u tat everything u did was drowning me to hell.. n I’m juz gonna remain silent wif all tis.. by de way, who can tell me wat had I did?? Anything wrong in everything I do?? I guess not.. coz I’m really doin de best tat I had rite now..

Ppl said “when u get something good, u need to appreciate it, and if not u will lost it 4ever”. Tis was really applied on me.. I think I had de responsibility to advise everyone to appreciate whatever they have on hand.. It’s really doesn’t feel good to spend ur life wif regret-ness.. no matter how hard u tried to gain ur happiness bk, no one will noe how much u need it.. n no one gonna understand u.. till de end.. u are de one who really understand urself well.. u need not to tell or speak to anyone.. becoz tears will automatically falls from ur eyes.. heart will nvr pain after tears have falls..

I had learned to see de world in a more realistic way.. I had learned to accept everything in a better manners.. I had learned to control myself well.. if there is anything tat u cant make urself clear wif, juz gv a smile n everything will goes smooth.. when it is time to go, “love” will juz fade away.. no ppl gonna feel sad on it.. only me.. who’s keeping and remain every little pieces of memory tat v gained 2gether.. however, all de memories are slowly fading out from my mind.. n no new memory gonna add in.. who cares??

Blue sing for me 2nite..wat I got to do to make u love me? Wat I got to do to make u care me? Wat do I do when lighting strikes me? And I wake to find tat u’re not there? Wat I got to do to make u want me? Wat I got to do to be heard? Wat do I say when it’s all over? Alrite alrite.. I guess I got de answer for all tat.. no point to fight for something is impossible oledi.. face de truth.. gonna live better.. but one thing I really cant make myself clear wif.. not even be a fren?? m I really tat worst until I had no chance n disqualified to be one of ur fren?? nthg much I hope.. juz wanna get a fren much better than to be in de situation like tis..

who can tell me wat i need??

hv been lost for a long time... sometime veri clear wif wat i want.. but sometime not... actually wat make me feel like tis?? anyone can let me noe de answer?? ppl said tis is wat v col 'LIFE'.. everyone gonna pass through all tis.. but, how come some ppl veri enjoying their life.. n not me.. can tis to be said 'unfair'?? i think not.. i blif GOD is owex fair.. hehe... although i'm bored wif my meaningless life... god gv me a lots of best frensSs.. everytime when i was down.. they will take turn to fill colors in my life.. yeah.. really appreciate it so much.. ^^

if there's an option, many ppl will choose to be a baby.. they said baby's life is perfect.. sleeping n eating all de time.. it's sound good.. but think in deeper, if everyone gonna be a baby 4ever, then who's gonna grow?? haha.. come on.. face de reality.. do not hide.. everything's gonna be alrite if u dare to solve it.. it will only become worst whenever u try to avoid de problem..

another day has gone.. i'm still all alone.. how could tis be?? u'r not here wif me.. hehe.. while blogging michael jackson sing for me.. make me uncontrol not to type his lyrics here.. hope one day i'm really clear wif wat i want in my life.. i wan direction!!! mission!! vision!! come come.. come upon me.. hehe... waiting for u... dun make me wait too long..